Free Ideas

I have a problem, I can’t stop thinking. I remember over 90% of my dreams. When I’m staring at something I’m thinking about how bored fish must be. When I’m being yelled at by the cops I’m thinking of ways they could yell at me better. Truthfully, I’m never bored.

With that said, here are some free ideas. You can use these for whatever you like…they are the shareware of thought. Good or evil, use them to your whimsy. Maybe they can breed with yours and make  ideas that people will comment on how those ideas have your eyes.

Movie Idea

Twin brothers decide to start a band called “Duble Truble”. They are a jazz/rock fusion band and they immediately become a hit with the ‘twin’ and ‘duplicate gene’ communities. But, ‘truble’ starts to brew when they realize that they are actually quadruplets and whilst in utero, they fused their twin sisters into their bodies. The sisters’ personalities start to take over and the jazz/rock fusion band becomes an angsty punk band that specializes in songs about gender politics and why people shouldn’t be ashamed of farting. Also, all four are addicted to smoking Smarties.

Business Idea

Unknowingly record people’s conversation that occur in public places. Then transcribe these conversations, format them, give them a title, suggest actors to portray the roles and sell them back to the owner as a script. Tell them they just wrote their own work of art and that they should try to get into the movies. Or just get them to sell it to content hungry websites that has content specific to those types of things. Like Vonnegut’s Kilgore Trout did for pornography, you basically sell the content in between the ads. Like Storify but without all that pesky coding. One word: lowest-common-denominator-phrases.

Song Idea

Write a song. Sing each word in reverse. Record it onto a cassette tape. Fire the tape into space. Play the song backwards when it returns to earth. Tape over it with the song played backwards live. Broadcast it all over social medie. The first ever “backwards forwards satellite reversed generation loss heightened” single ever on the internet. The topic should be: Puppies who are hiding secrets.  NO SWEARING!

Taxidermy Idea

Horse cat.

Legal Brothel Idea

Nothing under the clothes and nothing beyond second base. A seminar on the differences between second and third base will  be done during lunch which is a chicken salad on whole wheat. Yes, that is a euphemism. $20 an hour, all in Canadian Tire money (for my American friends, Canadian Tire money is a more colourful Canadian currency that is worth more than actual Canadian funds).

Sniff Test Security

Getting on a plane? Got some drugs in your bum? Or a bomb in your bag? An elderly man smelling your feet while making eye contact with you will make you sing faster than any wand or metal detector. Don’t believe me? Two words, retirement-home strip-tease. Put that in your pipe and try to sneak it on a plane. Who is laughing now jailbird?

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