The Interview Project 9: Ryan Byrne

Who needs a bio when you have tweets like this:

“I stabbed a box of cereal and said “Guess you could call me a cereal killer,” no one laughed. Next time I should do it before I murder them.”

Ryan Byrne is a mysterious man. One part self deprecating masturbation enthusiast, and one part dedicated film maker, you would think this combination would make a veritable storm front of weirdness and obscenity. It is not so. Not at all. Ryan is one of the nicest guys I have ever met. In fact, several months ago when my girlfriend was moving, he showed up to help. Directly from work, in dress pants and and a dress shirt, he helped the crap out of her. For the record, he only met my girlfriend once and at the time was ‘my friend’ not hers. And hell, I wasn’t ever there to help her. Also: he only flinched a little when she gave him a thank-you hug.

Ryan makes films. Ryan makes an award winning web series. Ryan makes podcasts. Ryan does a lot of stuff and, unlike other people who do a lot of things, he does them well. One thing he doesn’t do well though, is realize this. His humility is disgusting. For several years he has been submitting videos to Metro Shorts (a video competition ran by myself and the rest of Mostly Water) and his videos are always entertaining. Some of his jokes may not destroy audiences, but his commitment and creativity is obvious. He loves what he does and does it because he needs to. It is exactly what you would want from an artist or anyone who is trying to express themselves or intellectually interact with a population of people. Also: his knowledge of comics would give any nerd’s boner a boner.

I’ve been very lucky to work with Ryan, and hopefully, will get lucky when I work with him again. Sorry, I mean I hope I WILL be lucky enough to work with him again….or did I?

You can follow Ryan’s tweets at @ryanbyrneman. Just make sure that you wash your hands after you do.

If you would give yourself a nickname what would it be?

The Make Out King of Kahuna Beach

If you could switch one body part with anyone else in the world living or dead, who and what would it be?

The abs of Matthew McConaughey (I just googled that spelling)

In five words, describe your most uncomfortable dream.

Sex with someone I dislike

What is your favourite word?


What does that word smell like?

Gin and sweat

What is your spirit animal?

The noble ocelot

If ghosts existed, would you want to meet one? If so, what would you ask it?

Yes, level with me, Ben Franklin is a dick, right?

If you could share a bottle of alcohol with anyone who has ever existed, who would it be and what would you drink?

Phil Ochs and we’d drink Irish whiskey.

What would you rather have as a pet: A dragon, a unicorn Pegasus or Ezra Levant?

Would the dragon come with a dragon-sized saddle? I bet I’d have to get that custom made.

Finally, if you could live your life over again with guaranteed success, what would you do?

Probably the same things I already did, but with success.

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