The Arlington


This is a picture of my actual apartment blowing up oh so many moons ago. When I got to the building I told the fire chief what room I lived in. He then said into his walkie talkie, "I found the guy who lived in that room. He's not dead." I lost my favourite paddle, …

Words That I Have Made Up


Protest-Tester Noun • A protester who protests protesters. “What am I protesting against? What do you got? And then I'll protest against protesting against that. It's what protest-testers do. We also recycle denim.” Cover Story Theorem  Noun • Kids + Violence + Pets + Semi-naked Women = Highest selling newspaper ever. “I think we’ll go …