I’ll introduce Sam but first, relish in the opulence of his bio: “Sam Varteniuk was born in a log cabin he helped his father build. One day he will fertilize the earth with his dead body, and so fully participate in the circle of life, the greatest miracle of the mall.”
Sam is currently the Theatre Manager at the Registry Theatre in Kitchener, Waterloo ON. To the Edmonton crowd, Sam was the General Manager of The Metro Cinema Society and a co-founder of Mostly Water Theatre. You can find Sam on the twitter machine @samvarteniuk. Now, onto his words.
If you would give yourself a nickname what would it be?
Tina Yothers.
If you could switch one body part with anyone else in the world living or dead, who and what would it be?
I’d switch brains with Nikola Tesla.
In five words, describe your most uncomfortable dream.
I am huge, being crushed.
What is your favourite word?
Cacophony
What does that word smell like?
Bird shit.
What is your spirit animal?
A moose
If ghosts existed, would you want to meet one? If so, what would you ask it?
Yes. What do you do with yourself?
If you could share a bottle of alcohol with anyone who has ever existed, who would it be and what would you drink?
Douglas Adams. White wine (on account of my wheat aversion).
What would you rather have as a pet: A dragon, a unicorn Pegasus or Ezra Levant?
Dragon
Finally, if you could live your life over again with guaranteed success, what would you do?
The exact same thing.
The Trent Wilkie 
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