The Interview Project 10: Craig Martell(ica)

Stolen from Facebook. Shooter unknown.

Craig Martell (Martellica) has entrenched himself into the arts scene in Edmonton. He ‘does many things’ at the Wunderbar and has made it a place to do many things at. From live music, to comedy showcases, to being a Fringe BYOV, to a pretty boss tumblr,  the Wunderbar and Craig bring an indie level of entertainment that is better than most professional venues. On top of all that, he inspires me to create poetry:

A Poem About Craig Martell: A Poem by Trent Wilkie

I like the place you are employed.

The beer works very good there.

I can tell you are from Cape Breton,

by the way you cut your hair.

Your stand up comedy makes me laugh,

And sometimes makes me think.

Have you made a joke about

Someone peeing in the sink?

I’m not sure if that’s funny or not

or why it’s funny to me.

Maybe it’s the way it sounds

or it’s existential iconography.

Anyway Craig, you are very nice,

and I like the place of your employ.

I’d tell you that you are pretty

but I can’t ’cause you are a boy.

And now, his answers:

If you would give yourself a nickname what would it be?


If you could switch one body part with anyone else in the world living or dead, who and what would it be?

Julia Child’s hair. 1970s era.

In five words, describe your most uncomfortable dream.

My hair had nerve endings

What is your favourite word?


What does that word smell like?

Fresh baked bread

What is your spirit animal?

Turtle on it’s back.

If ghosts existed, would you want to meet one? If so, what would you ask it?

Sure. I’m up to meet anyone. I would ask it to smell my fingers.

If you could share a bottle of alcohol with anyone who has ever existed, who would it be and what would you drink?

I’d get a bottle of Pimms and drink Pimms cups with Michael Caine

What would you rather have as a pet: A dragon, a unicorn Pegasus or Ezra Levant?

You’d be a fool not to pick a Unigasus, but I think it would smell far worse than most would imagine.

Finally, if you could live your life over again with guaranteed success, what would you do?

I’d be a backup shooting guard in the nba. Every other part would be the exact same.

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