The Interview Project 14: Grant Wawrzynek


“Grant, 24/M/Illinois, USA. High school graduate and submarine mechanic. Superpower: Ability to say out loud what everyone else is thinking.”

I first met Grant whilst getting my ass kicked by a group of Orcs just outside of the Redridge Mountains in the Eastern Kingdoms. I was doing my damnedest to pown this Kobold jerk who was a quest target but I kept pulling aggro from this roving mob of goons . Anyway, Gdubb swooped in, slaughtered them all and then dragged my sorry butt through a couple of dungeons until I got some sweet gear drops and levelled a few times.

As you can tell, I have a head injury. As you can also tell, I used to play World of Warcraft. And in actuality I’ve never met Grant in person, only over the internet. Grant was one of those higher level guys. You know the kind. Leet gear, choice guild, great teeth…the envy of all the noobs. I was introduced to him through my good friend Sam and he and I would chat through our headsets while playing the game. Our conversations turned from game chat to real life and he and his cousins Brett, Connor and Abby turned out to be pretty awesome people. I do my best to keep in touch with them on Facebook.

As it turns out Grant was in the US military and would play WOW when he had time off from his job working on and repairing submarines. This I find very interesting. Someone who has an inherently cool job working underwater in a magical vessel that allows you to probe the depths of the last great earth bound frontier likes to play WOW. Think about the contrast. I mean, some people would consider that an awesome game in itself. Well, I would anyway.

So, next time you are sitting in your underwear playing video games and wasting away, don’t feel so bad. Somewhere there is a person skirting over the floor of the ocean in a cutting edge military vessel wishing they were doing what you are doing. In a way, you are a bit of a hero to the heroes. Remember to mention that to your psychologist.


If you would give yourself a nickname what would it be?

Grantasaurus rex

If you could switch one body part with anyone else in the world living or dead, who and what would it be?

Carl Sagan’s Brain

In five words, describe your most uncomfortable dream.

Neighbors eating me in soup

What is your favourite word?


What does that word smell like?

Spilled drinks, burnt food, stubbed toes, forgotten keys, toilet seats left up, ice cream left on the counter, etc.

What is your spirit animal?

The cocker spaniel.

If ghosts existed, would you want to meet one? If so, what would you ask it?

I would definatly want to meet one and ask what he/she did with all their spare time. If they actually had to abide by some sort of ghost law or if they had to go to ghost meetings…if they required sleep or if they just haunted up places at night.

If you could share a bottle of alcohol with anyone who has ever existed, who would it be and what would you drink?

George Washington and the rest of the guys at the constiutional congress. We would drink jagermeister and write the US constitution together.

What would you rather have as a pet: A dragon, a unicorn Pegasus or Ezra Levant?

A Dragon. The dragon could provide clean free energy for my house and provide clean free transportation everywhere I went as well as provide food for me with it’s hunting skills. I would have to live far away from any civilized society since the dragon wouldn’t be very popular with it’s large and possibly magical bowel movements. And my dragon sounds like Gilbert Gottfried, not Sean Connery so that would make people even more pissed off about my dragon.

Finally, if you could live your life over again with guaranteed success, what would you do?

Would probably do the same thing I am doing right now, overall I am pleased with what I have accomplished and I think if I had a bit more success at things I’ve failed at I would be even happier.

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