I’ve had at least three nightmares a week for as long as I can remember. Some of these wake me up screaming, others make me think and some even make me wonder what the hell is going on inside my mind. I remember one where I watched a home burn from atop a hill. People screamed for me to help them but I couldn’t move. I could hear sizzling and popping sounds…I recognized some of the voices. Then a smouldering figure came out of the front door of the home and walked directly towards me for what seemed a long time. When he reached me me choked me to death/wake. That one I woke up sobbing.
Sometimes I can control my dreams, other times I know I’m dreaming but can’t seem to make things click (slow running, can’t punch, a bra that will never unclasp etc.). But every once in a while I get a dream where I’m completely serene, sitting in the middle of a field surrounded by apple trees. I can smell the sweet naturalness of it…I can in tune with everything and my heartbeat slows to a golf clap. Then I realize I’m dreaming and try to control it again…just to see if this is one of those where things will work out for me and I’m in charge. I then turn to see a gigantic red dragon sleeping calmly next to me. I wake it, tighten the saddle that just appeared on its back and we take off. We destroy countless villages from the sky, raining a voluminous fog of fire and smoke upon the terrorized country side. We then take to the sky for one final swirl through the clouds and the clouds and the clouds. I am so happy I could cry. Then I wake up because I have to pee.