Humour

Interview with Blizzcon’s “Red Shirt Guy”


Me: First of all, what is your real name?

Red Shirt Guy: Hello there. My name is Karlag Tallwhispers.

Me: …that’s your real name?

RSG: That is my real gaming name yes thank you.

Me: What is your real human name?

RSG: I prefer not to say.

Me: That is fair. How was Blizzcon this year?

RSG: As you can see, for me it was quite eventful. I stumped the panel and sold some of my WOW fan fiction as well. I beleive that it was quite worth the van ride from Akron.

Me: When you came up with your question, did you think you would get the reaction you did?

RSG: I knew I knew something that they didn’t know. My intention was not to mock them, but to open a dialogue and the proper happenings of both the game and book. I do believe I was treated fair and treated them fairly. At the same time, the fact that they didn’t know my answer proves that I was indeed correct in my assumption that this was a malfeasance.

Me: Are you going to get a lawyer?

RSG: Why would I do that?

Me: Don’t you feel like something was taken from you as there is a mistruth in a corellation between the game and book?

RSG: No.

Me: Excellent. Tell me a bit about your fanfiction.

RSG: My WOW fanfiction or my Transformers fanfiction?

Me: Either will do.

RSG: I will read you a passage from my transformers fanfiction: “On a peaceful fourth of July night Bulkhead and Bumblebee in auto form watched the fireworks as they did another transformer in auto form that was exactly the same color as looked similar to bumblebee’s except the vehicle looked like in a shape of a Mercedes gave off a lovely sent of honey cruising by.”

Me: Is it supposed to be overtly sexual?

RSG: What?

Me: What WOW character do you relate to the most?

RSG: Probably King Varian Wrynn because of his dedication towards his people.

Me: You have people?

RSG: They are gathering, yes.

Me: Does that sound weird to say out loud?

RSG: No, I am typing it.

Me: If you could say one thing, to all your people, what would it be?

RSG: I used to think that, “Don’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk,” was cool but I never really understood the meaning. I guess I would say, “If you keep pulling aggro, heal thyself.”

Me: Thank you for your time.

RSG: What?

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