The Interview Project 11: Amy Neufeld

amy — Amscray and the Dais. Taken by Sam Varteniuk on on his iPhone 3G using the Instagram app. His belly was full of eggs and bacon prepared by James Neufeld when he snapped the shot. He used shampoo and soap provided by James and his wife Lynn to cleanse himself earlier that day as well. He smelled faintly of lavender and mint.

Having known Amy Neufeld for a long time, I have a bevy of anecdotes to chose from. She was the first to call me as my home burned (all the way from Winnipeg), there was the time I directed her in Root of All Squares along with Sam Varteniuk at the Athabasca Fringe Festival (I basically watched as they created all the awesome), or the various other times where wonderful/painful things happened in our lives. But this one is my favourite:

I remember telling a few friends a story once and Amy was present. It was a few years ago so the specifics of the story are a bit foggy, but suffice to say it was probably about me doing something silly or embarrassing myself or just a recollection of my undulating buffoonery. Everyone laughed, but as the laughter died down Amy’s continued whole heartedly and she looked at me and affectionately said in mid chortle, “You are SO stupid!”. That is why I will always love Amy Neufeld. Also, I’m pretty sure that will be my epitaph.

Bio:

“After ten wonderful years in Edmonton, Amy moved back to her home province of Ontario last year to be close to family (and, in truth, to escape the 8 months of soul-crushing winter). When not working at Wilfrid Laurier University, Amy teaches children drama, directs and produces children’s theatre, raises her child, and is in the process of growing another child in her womb. Surprisingly, she doesn’t care for children (well, maybe they’re okay).”

If you would give yourself a nickname what would it be?

Handsome Larry

If you could switch one body part with anyone else in the world living or dead, who and what would it be?

I’d want Neko Case’s voice

In five words, describe your most uncomfortable dream.

Always packing, never going anywhere

What is your favourite word?

Erstwhile

What does that word smell like?

Sawdust

What is your spirit animal?

Sheep

If ghosts existed, would you want to meet one? If so, what would you ask it?

They probably do, and I don’t think I’d ever see one – not tuned in to that. Also, I’d be scared. I would ask it to leave me alone.

If you could share a bottle of alcohol with anyone who has ever existed, who would it be and what would you drink?

My mom when she was 20 – wine. Also I would want to invite Stephen Fry. He could drink whatever he wanted.

What would you rather have as a pet: A dragon, a unicorn Pegasus or Ezra Levant?

Unicorn Pegasus

Finally, if you could live your life over again with guaranteed success, what would you do?

In my earlier years I would have said be an Olympian, despite my complete lack of athletic ability. Now I think it would be nice to have guaranteed success as a writer, although perhaps the guaranteed success would make it less interesting. So maybe I’d like a guaranteed income as a writer, and if my writing was good I would get bonuses. Like the power of flight, or bigger boobs.