“EQ is a Dameranian. He communicates through thoughts and his jokes are super racy. He has never been to Denver. Or Funky Town.”
EQ is a terrible gambler. On several occasions he has made ridiculous bets that even a child wouldn’t make. At this point he owes me close to $3000 on several poorly chosen wagers. Here are a few of them:
1. The time he bet me he could whistle O’Canada without taking a breath. He didn’t even get to ‘True Patriot Love’. $500
2. The time he bet me could get drunk off of eating Kleenex. He got through two boxes without even a buzz. $500
3. The time he said he could drive a riding mower while knitting. Nitwit didn’t even know what a riding mower was. $2000
Anyway, you see that the dude obviously has some deep seeded issues. Here are some more pictures of him.
If you would give yourself a nickname what would it be?
Mr. Boobers Sr.
If you could switch one body part with anyone else in the world living or dead, who and what would it be?
Any living male dog and testicles.
In five words, describe your most uncomfortable dream.
Two hundred steaks. No teeth.
What is your favourite word?
What does that word smell like?
What is your spirit animal?
If ghosts existed, would you want to meet one? If so, what would you ask it?
They are all around us in perpetuity. I would ask them why they watch me sleep.
If you could share a bottle of alcohol with anyone who has ever existed, who would it be and what would you drink?
Peppermint Schnaaps with Miles Davis.
What would you rather have as a pet: A dragon, a unicorn Pegasus or Ezra Levant?
Finally, if you could live your life over again with guaranteed success, what would you do?
I would be the forebearer of death. I would leave ruin and agony in my wake. Upon destruction of the earth I would take to the skies. I would be the swallower of planets. The burper of solar systems. The sneezer of astral mists. You will know me as GODDOG.
*HUGO voice in ‘Bouncing Dog’ trade marked by Craig Buchert/Hugo Corporation. All rights Reserved.